Monday, October 8, 2012

Gluten-Free Dreaming, Part III: The lucid dream

I often have dreams that go like this:

ME: Mmmmm, this cracker is delicious.
ME: nom nom nom
ME: Holy Crap! I'm eating gluten! spit it out! spit it out! ptew ptew*

or this:

ME: Oh my god this cake is amazing . . .
ME: nom nom nom
ME: NOOOOOOO! I can't believe I'm eating gluten again!! ptew ptew**

So I was pleasantly surprised to wake up one morning from a dream that went like this:

ME: Man, this is the best cinnamon bun ever. . .
ME: nom nom nom . . .
ME: Dang-nammit!! This is gluten! get it out get it out!
ME: Wait a second. . .
ME: But I'm always so careful . . . .
ME: The only time I ever eat gluten is in my dreams . . .  I must be dreaming . . .
ME: OH EM GEEBS I'm dreaming! I can eat the gluten! I CAN EAT ALL THE GLUTEN!
*Donuts, cake, french bread, cookies, and more cinnamon buns appear in a giant pile in front of me*
ME: nom nom nom Nom Nom Nom!
*hands are moving so fast they are no longer visible, like Garfield eating a lasagne*

Let me just say, it was a glorious dream. I can still taste the gluten.

*Yes, my dream spits sound like photon torpedos
**No seriously, they do.


  1. oh my god. you found a rift in the matrix! I am SO JEALOUS!!!

    1. Someone at MIT is working on a little blue pill (or was it red?) so that someday you too can join me . . . ;)

  2. the little blue pill is viagra, bc it's blue. and little. and a pill. good way for shy men to request their refill ^^

  3. Oh darn, nix that first comment then. Someone at MIT is working on whatever color pill gets you into/out of the matrix!

  4. This is hilarious and amazing, I just found your blog today. I wish I could will myself to have a dream like this. Are you still in the Boston area?